The Belle of the Boulevard
by aworldwellneverfind
Summary: Life is always hard for the belle of the boulevard. / A songfic for the lovely song by Dashboard Confessional with a surprise ending. / Bade and very slight Jori friendship. Takes place in the future! / There are slight mature themes. Read / review / favorite if you want me to smile! (:


**I know this is entirely OOC for Jade but I kind of was feeling the song for the situation and I'm sorry if you don't like it! I hope you do, though, and I hope that it does the amazing song some justice. I recommend listening to this song before [or during?] your read, because it steals the entire idea. I don't own the song or the show, Victorious. **

**Please read / review / favorite ! I hope you enjoy it! This is one of my favorite songs. **

**There's a surprise twist ending. :D ! **

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Belle of the Boulevard

Song By Dashboard Confessional

In a small, seaside town, Jade West sits on the boulevard of a local bar. The only thing that keeps her from breaking is the sound of an old guitar, played by a greasy haired man, his guitar case opened at his feet for tips. She listens quietly as she sits, fighting the tears. It has been years since graduation from Hollywood Arts, years since Jade's dreams were close realities. But times have changed since then, and now, Jade lives in this small town, alone. She has no friends but plenty of male admirers, plenty of men who pursue her to no end. She doesn't speak much anymore; in fact, she's nothing of what she was back in high school.

She hasn't been the same since her three year long relationship with Beck Oliver ended. No, she hasn't been the same at all. Jade has been broken for so long that one would think she's hit rock bottom, but she hasn't. She still has a long way before she hits that.

Or so she tells herself.

Jade pretends that she hasn't broken. She fakes smiles, she lets her pursuers take her out on dates. Jade acts, telling dirty jokes, laughing as though she has interest in these men. She lets them touch her, inch their hands closer and closer to her inner thigh. She lets them think that they're getting somewhere, if only one time, she lets them have her. Just because she wants so badly to be loved that she convinces herself that these men are right for her, but they're not. She knows that. She's never been naïve.

She leaves early mornings from their house; she never does those kinds of things in her own home, in her own bed. It always feels dirty, wrong, but she does them anyway. She needs to feel _something_, even if it is hatred of herself. She always leaves, though, and she cries her eyes out on her walk back home. She's afraid of loving, but she wants love so badly. She's afraid of someone hurting her again.

Jade falls apart early every morning, when she finally reaches her home again. She cries and cries until she throws up, then cries more. She lies on her bed, wishing that she could just die and get it over with, but she never takes her own life. She needs the pain, needs to continue torturing herself. She believes she deserves the most miserable kind of death possible.

She attempts to cry herself to sleep every night, but right before she falls asleep, she dries her eyes on her sheets, and repeats in her head the same phrase, over and over again:

Life is always hard for the belle of the boulevard.

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She's beautiful; everyone in the town knows it. Her expensive jewelry and gorgeous clothing are staples on the brunette. The women envy her and for that reason, they talk about her. Horrible, horrible gossip. It silently kills Jade, but she never says a word against it or anyone else. She knows it'll only come back to hurt her. She cannot stand to be hurt again.

The only thing that keeps Jade going in her music. She doesn't perform her songs anywhere, but if you listened very closely, you'd be able to hear her singing it softly, to herself, when no one is paying attention to her. The ladies in town may call her antisocial or "bitchy" for ignoring them, but her music is the only thing she has anymore, and it is the only thing that keeps her from breaking.

She knows that she has a long way until she hits rock bottom, but to Jade, she's at rock bottom. She has no friends, no family, nothing besides the artificial love she creates each night and the songs she writes.

In this town, Jade never lost. She never loved and never was broken. She is the same old girl she was when she arrived. She may have been broken, but no one in town can tell. They just think she's shy, quiet, odd.

Little do they know, the real Jade West, the unbroken one, she was never quiet. Not a day in her life.

Being quiet doesn't blind her beautiful face, and it doesn't blind the many men she lets take advantage of her during the night. Before she leaves the house after getting ready for the traumatizing night she has ahead, Jade takes a drink to get her courage up. She always tells herself that it is just one more night, one more man, one more time, but she knows that's never the case. She will never stop. She can't. She's too far past the point of self-destruction. She's ruined, impure, imperfect.

She'd love to run away from this awful town, but she has nowhere to go, no one to accept her or love her. No one ever loved her or accepted her. She thought Beck did, but he told her in front of everyone that he didn't love her, that he wasn't happy with their relationship and left her standing outside a door at Tori Vega's house. Her supposed best friend, Cat, didn't defend her, leaving her to drive home alone besides her own tears. In fact, her non-friend Tori was the only one who seemed to care, and again Tori cared as Beck leaned in for a kiss.

Knowing this all, Jade drifted from her "friends" slowly but surely. And they never second-guessed that. In fact, it was easier from them that way, less awkward. Tori, the decent person she is, tried to stay in contact with Jade, but after graduation, Tori grew too busy to constantly check in on the miserable girl, and it seems like she has forgotten Jade at this point. Just like everyone else.

So perhaps she can't run away, so she doesn't. She stays with the nothing she has in her seaside town with the men who don't commit to her, but just want something in particular from her. And she lets them have it, because she's too tired to pretend that she doesn't want love and she's too tired to put up a fight. She cries about her life, but it doesn't get better and she doesn't expect it to. She gave up a long time ago.

So she keeps her problems on the inside. And when she falls apart, she dries her eyes and keeps going, on with the same awful routine she perfected years back. She knows that life is always hard for the belle of the boulevard, and so life must be hard for her.

Days she feels particularly low, she contemplates suicide; she feels that it's the only viable option. But she never does. She hopes that one day, she'll be happy, that the only person who was able to make her smile would come back for her. She holds on for him. She knows that she'll be alright because of him.

Down at a local bar, out on the boulevard, the sound of an old guitar saves her from sinking.

That, and the sound of his boots clanking through, towards her table, to embrace her after almost four years of searching for her, of realizing his mistake.

She looks up from her thoughts, noticing the dark shadow looming over her. She puts on her brave face, expecting another random man who wants her for a night.

Her eyes widen when she sees who it really is. She wants to turn away, but she cannot. She does not. Tears pour down her face instantly, at the sight, because she knows its Beck. She'd recognize him anywhere. But he reaches out, and he dries her eyes. She has so much to say to him, so many words that she's kept inside all these years, but she cannot speak. She wants to tell him to leave, but she cannot. She knows that what they had was love and even after hurting her years back, she still loves him. So she just lets him talk, because she cannot say a word.

"Jade, I made a mistake."

And she just nods, because she has barely spoken in almost four years and cannot think of the right words to say.

And she nods again when he tells her he loves her after kissing her passionately, but he knows what she means. He knows that she loves him too, and while he'll definitely have to redeem himself, he knows that they're together again, this time for good. And she knows that it'll take a lot to trust him again, but she's used to time. She's okay with that. Because he loves her and she loves him. It'll be hard, but they'll make it work. It'll be hard, but she'll survive.

After all, life is always hard for the belle of the boulevard. And she wouldn't have it any other way.

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**I know it's been a while since I posted something, but I think this is probably worth it, right? Kinda short and kinda bad but, like, I mean, it's certainly not the greatest thing ever and it's depressing, but it makes you happy kinda near the end, right? **

**Pardon my crappy writing. Please read / review / favorite and make me a happy girl?!**

**Love you guys! *Insert Heart Symbol Here***


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